what the F am i doing here?

I've said this to more than one classmate, but i've been really bothered by the question of whether I belong here at the GSB. Or at any business school for that matter. I know, it's crazy, but it pops up in my mind, what can I do. I've been told that it's a big place and you'll find your niche of people and all will be good. I understand that, but I don't think it's about my classmates.

We had a session on the MBTI today and I thought it was pretty revealing. If I were to believe the results, it is actually about me and certain characteristics that are probably innate.

It was a surprise to me to see that I was adjudged to be an EN-F-P. I always thought I was EN-T-P. That's what those free tests I did on the web told me. But, according to this more detailed one, I'm slightly skewed towards being an 'F'.

What does this mean? According to the book:

For people with ENFP preferences, life is a creative adventure full of exciting possibilities. ENFP's are keenly perceptive about people and insightful about the present and future. They experience a wide range of feelings and intense emotions. They need affirmation from others and readily give appreciation and support. ENFP's are good at understanding how people and groups work and are persuasive and compelling in pursuing what is important to them. They are adaptable, blooming where there are planted. Their energy and enthusiasm encourage others to bloom as well.

Got to say, all that blooming stuff sounds pretty kick-ass-go-yogi-go. But, when I ask the 'what-if' questions, things are a tad different. For e.g., What if an ENFP doesn't get the 'affirmation' they need from others. Again, for lack of an alternate, we turn to the book:

If ENFP's do not find a place where they can use their gifts and be appreciated for their contributions, they usually feel frustrated and may:
* become scattered, have trouble focusing, be easily distracted
* fail to follow through on decisions
* become rebellious, excessively nonconforming
* ignore deadlines and procedures

See, this is scary stuff. This was EXACTLY what my job got to be at one point. And it was because it was a stifling situation for me personally. We did another test today where we had to, in groups sorted by type, complete a few statements. The NF's responses ?

Q. Work is a reflection of ..
A. what I care about.

Q. The most important contribution I can make in my work situation is ..
A. use my talents.

Q. The worst thing I can be asked to do in a job is ...
A. routine stuff, or be asked to fire someone.

I quote these because it seemed from the other responses that we as a group were so off the charts when compared to my other cohort-mates in their group responses. Some of them:

Q. Work is a reflection of ...
A. Personal goals, passions and abilities, responsibility etc.

Q. The most important contribution I can make in my work situation is ...
A. Impact on society, increasing production, accomplishment of goals, creative solutions.

Q. The worst thing I can be asked to do in a job is ...
A. Artistic skills, work in a changing environment, unethical, non-challenging work.

Don't the other responses sound more MBA-like ? No wonder NF's are also characterized as Idealists, with a motto: To Thine Own Self Be True. Pretty freaking hard to do if you're an MBA student, I tell ya.

ENFP's hate routine, schedules, and structure and usually manage to avoid them.

Seems to me almost all the jobs an MBA can expect to do post-graduation actually involve a lot of routine, schedules, and structure. I say *almost* all because I'm an optimist and still believe there's got to be a career for me that will allow me to be myself. After all, Dr. Seuss was an ENFP. Wait. OK, bad choice. But, they didn't give us any other ENFP examples :-)

What is also interesting is looking at the percentages of these various types as compared to the general population. ENTP's are 10%(working MBAs) as compared to 3.2%(national sample), ENTJ's are 8.9% vs 1.8% (whoa!),ISTJ's 17.1% vs 11.6%, ESTJ's 17.4% vs 8.7%, and INTJ's 7.1% vs 2.1%. Looks like the TJ's self-select into b-school.

The NF's in b-school, on the other hand, are lower than the national averages. For ENFP's it is 5.9% vs 8.1%. In our cohort we divided the class of 52 into 4 groups - NF, NT, SP, SJ. There were 3 NF's.

I don't know. Maybe I'm not making sense and over-reacting to this little test thing. Then again, the book may be right:

ENFP's find meaning and significance readily and see connections that others don't.

Ah well, screw it. My brain's fried and the World Music Festival is in town and there's a free concert at Millenium Park that I want to check out. Off I go now.