Last exit before New Jersey

I think i'm done here. It's the end of tuesday in London and no news on the waitlist yet. The review was supposed to be yesterday. I was also told that the R4 decisions would be taken before the waitlist was attended to. Since there are R4s still waiting for decisions, I assumed that the process was delayed, but it seems some WL'ers have been admitted yesterday. It is the same familiar pattern of all schools - the decisions are going out first, to be followed by the dings. I can see the writing on the wall, it is just a matter of time now.

I'm all vacant inside right now. This entire process has been one, above all, of optimism for me. Misplaced, you may say, but regardless. A hope that I may be good enough to stand up and be counted, so I applied to the best schools. A hope that a ding from some schools doesn't mean i'm doomed, so I worked harder on the other apps. A hope that all the work and effort will lead to a admit to an MBA, something I have dreamed of for a long time. But, the reality that I have tried to obscure with thoughts of good things has caught up to me finally. It is a very competitive world out there, and I wasn't probably sharp enough, qualified enough, talented enough to compete. I thought I was, but this is a reality check.

I've been having a rough couple of weeks at work, and the possibility that I might be at LBS this fall has been a motivational force of sorts to get me thru the long nights at work. I will have to go on now without that.